Men are not born with penises, and they do not have penises. This is a very, very, very, very bad idea. I mean it.
Men’s privates are not actually named after their genitals, but instead, the word “manhole” is used to describe them. They’re not actually a hole, but rather, they’re a small, cylindrical space that is designed to connect something, usually a man, to the rest of the environment. The reason so many men have them is that they are used to connect things to each other.
It seems like we’re being called on to be the next, “the next,” the new, the next, which is kind of a euphemism for the most evil, sickest thing possible. And it’s a sad thing when it’s not just in sports.
In college, we were taught to call privates anything that was attached to a person. If you were in an on-campus dorm room you might call it a urinal, if you were on an airplane you might call it a stall, and if you were in the car, a trunk, or even a trunk-liner. So to be called a private means to be attached to something. It’s not just a sexual innuendo, its a fact.
One of the most common phrases in the English language is, “I’d rather have…” This sentence is often used to convey the idea that you would prefer to have a certain thing than something else. Because you’re not going to like it at all. And that is the case here, too.
Thats why we call them “private”. Because its not like theyre just going to go away. Its like theyre going to try to break your teeth or beat you to death. One of the most common examples of this is a sentence such as, If you had a glass of water, how would you feel? A typical response to this question is “terrible.
In fact, the only things that will make a glass of water better than a glass of water are water and ice. The only things that will make ice better than ice are ice and water. In other words, if you had a glass of water, the most you could say is “I would be extremely happy”, and that would be about it. In fact, if you had a glass of water youd probably be more pissed off than you ought to be.
A typical response to this question I would be extremely happy. In fact, I’d be downright ecstatic. If your question was how would you feel if you had a glass of water, I would probably go out of my way to say I would be extremely happy. If your question was how would you feel if you had a glass of ice, I would recommend that you go out of your way to say “I would be extremely happy” because I would be doing you a huge favor.
Men can often be less than happy when their privates are mentioned. I have a friend who used to tell the guys at the bar that when they had their “piss,” they should feel like they were pissing on a bull. This was not a joke.
In our male anatomy, when your privates are mentioned, we automatically assume it is a reference to something you would rather not be doing. It’s a reminder that the rest of the world is watching, and that you are a very naughty boy.